Chasing dreams

To some, life starts at 30. To some, they understand life when they have a family to raise. To me, it's not too much to say that my life starts in March 2007. Yeah, no doubt about it. I will not go recapping the things which happen from 1/1/2007 till now but what I'm starting to realize is that life will not always go the way we want it to be. I was raised to be a systematic planning machine; constantly calculating the risk of everydays life and executing the best decisions which could benefit me and every living, breathing thing which exist around me. I believe that nothing is impossible if we really work our ass off into it. But yet, what my sweetheart was trying to convince me back in school is happening in front of my eyes as we speak.

I have dreams and i dream big; it's not your typical Miss-World-maikng-the-world-a-beter-place dreams. My dreams are based on a realistic foundation which i belive, without even a shadow of a doubt, it will happen. After so much which happen, I've decided on 3 concrete dreams which has become my constitution of my complex thinking mechanism;

1.To become a specialist in medicine
2.To have a family with the one I love so much
3.To act selflessly towards all living beings

Those are the 3 dreams which is embedded deeply in me, to an extend, has become my principals of life, and no one can ever change this. But for the other dreams and hopes that i have for myself, it may or may not happen,and i really hate this. I wanted certainty, but the future is the one thing that could not give me that. I recall one deep statement ' The expected put humans on the feet, but the unexpected changes life' and trully there's no weak points in it. The certain puts us in the comfort zone, but uncertain strips us bare naked. But that's life; easy leads to less, difficult spells more, shortcuts are fools' success and suffering is the pathway to greatness. It takes me 17 years to deduct this, and it takes me life-shattering, emotional-packed steps. I discussed all of my plans and dreams with my parents and their response are simply eye opening. They said that life as a Muslim is bounded to the Qada' and Qadar. As i am very liberal on this matter, i tend to think that life's outcomes is solely in our hands, and we have all the power and might to have it all. But my sweetheart and parents told me that yes its true, but there will be times when it will not go our way as Allah has something bigger and better for us. At first, this fact was really hard to absorb and digest, but thinking back, life works that way. But still, these very important people made me realize that though there are these uncertainties in life, we still will get what we want, through faith, preseverence and hard work. Man eventually played golf on the moon when the whole world thought that we will never even get near it. Man are living in the skies when people once thought that we will never touches the heavens. That's the beauty of dreams; they help man to achieve things which we never thought of before. With all of these assembling in my head, it shows me a clearer potrait now; whatever it is, whatever your dreams are, have faith, believe and work for it, and no matter how hard or impossible it is, your dreams and hopes will come true. Have faith.

Ijok and Malaysia football

The Ijok by-election is just in the corner, and it is making headlines all over the tabloids and newspapers. Let’s just say that the one of the top 5 topics on the debate at your typical mamak stall nationwide has something to do with it. But, I am no politic observer giving out analysis and answers on rhetorical questions. It’s just that the bottles flying over the heads of supporters of the two political parties somehow projected the level of maturity of the people of Malaysia really is. I may not go into details what happen on that very day as I wasn’t there, so I believe that is ethically and morally wrong for me to elaborate more on that matter, but it’s just I am very disappointed by the actions of the supporters who acted in a uncivilized manner. But first, I would like to point out that I, myself have flaws and I’m discussing on this issue so in a long run, I hope that I could improve the thinking of Malaysians and at the same time, help myself in becoming a better person.And what caught my attention in the newspaper is the headline of Hatem Soussi, the Negeri Sembilan coach who has been allegedly accused of assaulting a fellow Negeri Sembilan supporter. And for this matter, I could elaborate more as I have been given and insight of what Malaysian football is all about; my Pak The is the manager of the team and there were a couple occasions where I had some chat with Hatem. Clearly, Hatem did not assault the fan as been proven by the footage by TV3. To me, what causes the commotion was the provocation done by the supporters towards Hatem. They insulted Hatem’s family and players, and the question is, how would you stand those kind of pressures coming in so many directions? To me, Hatem was not to be blamed and he DID NOT assault the fan. Yeah at one way, he did go over the fence, but he wasn’t attend in any way to assault him. Is just he was trying to get that so called ‘fan’ to the police.But anyways, this two event connects with each other and in a way it projected how Malaysians are. They are giving out signals to the whole world that we are not developed as we think we are. Come one, after watching Malaysian foot ball matches for a couple of weeks, you should have seen this so called ‘fans’ in action. They treated the players like crap, insulted the players in front of their parents, and the called themselves the ‘hardcore fans’. Yeah right!But this 2 events really show what Malaysians are really made of; a heartless, aggressive, hot tempered people with little respect to others. So, it’s up to you, the readers to ponder on this and make the right turns and actions. Come on, show some dignity and show the people out there who Malaysians are. Malaysia boleh, right?

Re-incarnation and rejuvenation

After a long time not since I put my last entry into my blog, so I guess this entry, to me is a new improve version of me. After a couple of weeks putting myself into solitary, my views and paradigms have been altered in a very significant change. You see, in this past few weeks, I have endured in so many intense psychological experience and I must say that this event s have change me into a person who I believed, a person of honor, virtues, meticulous, and have a very good sense of realistic and logic. Let’s just say, in simpler terms that I have been transformed into a new-improved Fathul Aizat version 3.0.You see, after a few life-altering experience, I have meet a lot of new people and seen many situations which could never be experienced neither in schools nor in a normal typical day. So, to me, I devised a very simple formula which I believe that could contribute a lot in the changing of paradigms:Readings + Inter-intra personal + First hand experience= Maturity and greatness of thinking and mentality.So, in a way, the style of my entry after this would seem like a typical newspaper and tabloid column with a 360 degrees turn and twist with more maturity wroting being instill in it.So, I hope that the series of entries posted in this blog will somehow give an insight of morality and hopefully, that this will somehow shed some light on the reformation of Malaysian mentality. Viva Malaysia.

A thin white thread

Firstly i would like to thank the people who willingly spend their time reading my blog, especially those who also gave comments on them. I really appreciate them.This past few days' i heard people dying everywhere,; in the news, in the news papers, and from my friends. Men once said that death is a phase that living thngs need to face, it is a part of life. And this concept still circulating in our beliefs. Yes, those statements could not be denied, by science nor theory. But it sounds ironic rite, 'death is a part of life'. Those two terms; 'life' and 'death' are antonyms to each other, but somehow, 'death is a part of life'. There's one quote; 'To understand life, we need to undertsnd death first'. It holds a deep meaning. Yeah it's true. If we look at our society, we do not appreciate our life the way it supposed to be and there are times we wish that that Big Guy up there put a full stop to it. This might due to big brob or etc. But for me. to really understand what life is, we need to put ourselves in the shoes of people who have so little time to live. In these times, when your life is hangin in the balance, u will realize how precious time is, how valueble life is, how we wish we could turn back time to make things righr again. There is one hadith which stated that the only time men appreciate what Allah gave them is when Allah takes them away. We take simple miracles of life for granted, and one of them is life. Recalling back Elton John's Circle of life, to me, life is defined beautifully by symbolising it to the beauty of mother earth.So, i hope these few simple words could help you to see life in a hole new perspactive. Appreciate life, celebrate it.

Who am I?

Hey again. Hmm, i feel like writing about something that i felt today. U see, i have this abnormalities, maybe it's in the genes i guess; im short. Ok, im not those native pygme people in the amazon, i'm 161 cm. N i just have this enviness towards suys who are even taller than me. Whn i watched mtv, i saw justin timberlake with his awesome dance moves in his video clip. Then suddenly, i felt that i wanted to be this guy on tv. Later on, i wathced Ed on starworld n da same routine happenes, i wanted to be like him too. And the list goes on. It seems that i wanted to be so many peoplein the tv, trying to have something that may in fact doesnt exist in the real world. Same went wit my bros. I don't know, maybe its my raging hormones are putting myself in a position where i have this mild identity crisis. In my readings, i found that most adolescents are facing this problem. Maybe it is a phace that we so-called-humans are destined to experienced. But there are several occasions where it went overboard and things aren't the wat it supposed to be. Hey, i once did research on how to get those couple inches and i even wanted this drug 'arginine' to make myself competent in the height market. What is up with that? Everywhere, teens are getting thinner than the lidi of the satay, trying to pursue this so called perfect body potrayed in the teles. I know its hard but sometimes we need to love ourselfs. Be grateful in what we have. Look deep inside ourselves, and we will find a beauty undescridably beautiful, more beautiful than.. errmm...beautiful! Appreciate ourselves, and we walk on this earth with confidence. (SOunds like an add aite? hihi)

Good or bad? A stigma

Hi. Actually, sorry if u might thnk my blog space is more like an Oprah talk show rather than.. a... well... a blog i guess. Hihi. But it's just that i want to bring u all into my world n how i perceive the world. Its quite interesting to know how other people think n respond to their environment. Actually, last night, i watched this movie, "Ladder 33" or is it 'ladder 49'? I dnt remmber but its a really mind openg movie. In the movie, the firemen are portrayed as noble people who ran inside burning structures n rescue people. But have u ever wonder, why these people, who risk their lives in daily basis, are selbdomly appreciated by people? I came to this conclusion as firemen nowadays, in my opinion, aren't getting what they supposed to get considering the nature of ther job which revolves around danger. This also implies to policemen, lifeguards n so on. Its quite an irony as these noble n brave people receive a monthly wage of only rm900 to rm2000, while those corporat people who laze aroun n just sit down n drink coffee are enjoying themselves with overflowing wealth. That is the stigma, that we, the society nowadays are facing. We look upon those so-called 'mat rempits', mawi, gossips while we let those people who has made so much difference in this worl just fade away. It's kind of weird, aite. Hey, i even sumtimes idolized artists, but after watching the movie, i realized there are more important people that we should look upon. If u ver asked a 17 year old teen, do u wnt to b policeman, fireman, or a soldier, i bet the answer is no. But if usked me, do i want to be all that, i will answer that question with a no too, but i would like to be doc, as i could help n it is the closest for me to be just like them. But if u asked a 5 year old boy, ull b surprised with the answer. Trust me on this..;-)

The end of the world? Think again

there are moments in life when we felt that God hate us n the world is crumbling down on you. Yeah, i had those times do. Actually, when u sit back and ponder, we felt this way because we choose to do so. Sounds weird aite? Yeah but its true. Actually, in life, you feel that u are a total failure coz u make urself belive that u did not achieve your goals and dreams, and in reality, those goals and dreams are set by ourselves. From my personal experience, i was once a perfectionist; i wanted perfection. At first, it helped me a lot, but when i reached the peak of my achievements, it made me push mysely to the edge. urging me to work harder n harder eventhough ive reached my limit. So in the end i succumbed to things which would destroy your very life. Then, my father thought me sumthng very valuable,; the sense of gratefulness. He told me that if u think that u suffer, stop for a while and try to imagine those people who aren't fortunate enough to have a decent meal, who are not able to get a proper education, who lost their loved ones, who are terminally ill and waiting for his or her death. It hit me straight in the heart. Who am i to say that i suffer when there are a lot, i mean A LOT of people who suffered worst than me. N my dad told me... if u feel u didn't get what u wntd the most in present time, think back what do u want to achive in life. Is it the no of a's, a degree, an ipod? Or is it a family filled with luv and care, happiness, and our final destination? But don't get me wrong. Achieving materialism is important, but never neglect those simple things in life which could make life much.. i mean much more meaningful to you. So, if u say that ur life is miserable n its the end of ur life, ask urself back..is it?

The end of the world? Think again

there are moments in life when we felt that God hate us n the world is crumbling down on you. Yeah, i had those times do. Actually, when u sit back and ponder, we felt this way because we choose to do so. Sounds weird aite? Yeah but its true. Actually, in life, you feel that u are a total failure coz u make urself belive that u did not achieve your goals and dreams, and in reality, those goals and dreams are set by ourselves. From my personal experience, i was once a perfectionist; i wanted perfection. At first, it helped me a lot, but when i reached the peak of my achievements, it made me push mysely to the edge. urging me to work harder n harder eventhough ive reached my limit. So in the end i succumbed to things which would destroy your very life. Then, my father thought me sumthng very valuable,; the sense of gratefulness. He told me that if u think that u suffer, stop for a while and try to imagine those people who aren't fortunate enough to have a decent meal, who are not able to get a proper education, who lost their loved ones, who are terminally ill and waiting for his or her death. It hit me straight in the heart. Who am i to say that i suffer when there are a lot, i mean A LOT of people who suffered worst than me. N my dad told me... if u feel u didn't get what u wntd the most in present time, think back what do u want to achive in life. Is it the no of a's, a degree, an ipod? Or is it a family filled with luv and care, happiness, and our final destination? But don't get me wrong. Achieving materialism is important, but never neglect those simple things in life which could make life much.. i mean much more meaningful to you. So, if u say that ur life is miserable n its the end of ur life, ask urself back..is it?

Friends

Almost 11 years in the exam-oriented education introduced by da government, and at last, freedom. Though i should celebrating my independence, i felt otherwise. Don't know, but i believe it's simply... friends. Friends... they just humans, but what make them apart from other Homo Sapiens is the tie, the feeling, the bond which emerge between them with us. Sometimes i questioned myself, why do tears appear when i am about to depart with my friends but this does not happn when i am leaving someone i don't know? Simply, friends are people which you have that so-called 'connection'. Now, after leaving school, i understand what people meant when they said 'a shoulder to cry on'. Its actually hard to explain with words, its something that you need to experience first hand. After 5 years living in a boarding school, i come to an understanding that friends are people who you can share problems with, people who you could joke around with n not get hated or hit back, people you could cry and laugh with. As i look back at those 5 incredible years, indeed i love my friends, either those who are 24/7 with me or those who i just knew them by name. Yes, there are times when i got in big fights, but with friends, you somehow get over it. n sometimes i feel confused, why i felt that urge to help and care other people? Why people take care of me? There are no explaination to these questions. That's how magical friends are. Now i understand the connections between people. Now i understand why i care about people who do not have any blood relation with me and being cared back by them. Now i understand my second family. Now i understand my friends.

A feeling called love

Hey. This is my first time in this blog stuff. So, sowy for any mistakes,k ? I would like to share with u guys a very personal topic and it may bring a very special and deep meaning to some people. It's something that people might think that they have it but in reality they didn.t have the jizz of it. Actually, what i meant is the reality of relationships, courtships, and love. It took me a long time to understand a small portion of this very mysterious emotions of humans and till now i still don't fully understand it. Hmm, relationships and love. From my opinion, it is an ever thirst of human to love and be loved. Hey, we are humans. There's one saying that love is what makes the world go around. I agree wit it totally. Love is something that makes you happy when u are with that special person, what makes you remorseful when u are apart, and sometimes makes you do stupid but memorable things. Believe me, i've done stupid things a lot, but when i think back, it's a little romantic i guess. But becareful as love might be blind and it might be not the one though you feel it is. The feelings and emotions which are associated with love might be started from the looks, maybe from the personality, or many more. But personally, for me, it's that feeling inside indicates that the person is the one; a feeling that i could not put it into words and to describe it. It's a very strange feeling actually. If u like the person by his or her looks, u might end up in a very bad relationship. I'm not saying that u need to exclude the physical factors; the looks is still important, but u also need to have the 'connection of the hearts' to get the full meaning of courtships and relatonships. Oklah, i guess that's all. Maybe, i'll write some more in the future.