Sunrise

Here is a series of sun rise pic i took in Penang early in the morning. This is taken in Tg Tokong.

Oriental delight

At first, i was not that keen of participating in my family's trip to Hong Kong and Shenzen. I was on protest at first for my parent's refusal of letting me go for a humanitarian trip to Vietnam. they came up with excuses which i see as unrelevant at all; malaria threat, instability, etc.. etc.. So, not wanting to be a child who bite the hands which feed me, i complied and decided on joining them on the trip. At frst, i thought that this holiday will never come close to the excitement of my homestay trip in Nagoya and Tokyo.But as i stepped on Hong Kong's soil, with the mild winter weather bearing great resemblence with the temperature of Cameron highlands in the night, i must say that i took back my words.

From what i see, HK is like the Asia's version of the big apple; the infamous traffic jams, sky scrappers, and a stream of people rushing from one place to another. Frankly speaking, Hong kong people are not that very friendly and your simple 'hello' to them ussually are not replied. Similar with Japan, they speak very little English, and if they do, they have those tones and ascent like those of Russel Peters contoversial racist jokes. (Super damn funny!) And the standard of living there is quite high. lets say for ur simple 'ma sya' or green tea, it will cost u around HK$ 12.00 (equivallent to 6rm).

In travel, i am not those stereotypical type of person who heads off to theme parks or so called 'famous tourist sights' in a group. I prefer travelling alone, making friends with the natives, learning and trying out new cultures. Rather travelling in groups, i rather have a map or a gprs in my hand, get to know a few natives, and follow where my legs and instincts lead me. For me, this is the true backpacking cum travelling cum learning experience. A day after arriving in Hong Kong, after a tour trip, i brought along my pouch with camera, a map, and a bottle of mineral water, and just wonder off nowhere. I came across a lot of 'interesting' places where u can find in Malaysia; table-dancing with topless girls club, mamak stall in HK, I-Phone for 600rm, a newly wedded couple, in their wedding attire, taking pictures in the middle of the busy roads of HK, and a group of Muslims, going to the mosque for prayers.

Then, on our third day, we shoot of to Shen Zen by train. I had this utterly strange feelinh when we reached there; it is hard to believe that China is still in the communist block considering there are a lot of non-chinese influences that could be seen all over Shen Zen. It was hard to unnotice the gigantic factories and indusries which could be found there. No wonder that China has turned out to be the next economic super power surpassing Uncle Sam, with a GDP of a staggering 11%. i was told that Shen Zen is is also known as the 'Tounge of Immigrants' as 95% of the population there are people from outside Shen Zen. With it labour intensiive industries, a large portion of the inhibitants are working in factories. And it is also mind blowing to know that 20 years ago, this huge city , with its numerous skycrappers(as huge as New York or Chicago, seriusly!) was once just a small agriculture village.

Tourists who come here have only one thing in mind when they come to Shen Zen; shopping. When i say shopping, people literally 'shop till they drop!'. Its true. There is this one place called Dongmen market which has been the Mecca for people who are on the hunt for 'Prada' handbags, 'Gucci' shoes, 'Burbery' tranch coat, and you can get them as low as 40 HK$(20rm), given that you know how to bargain. I bought my Adidas skate gear and shoes for just 50HK$ (25rm). Cool aite? I talked with one of the promoters there and they told me that most of the goods sold there are made by workers working at the factories where they will bring home the leftover materials and make their own fashion line in their homes.

Even the original goods there are cheap. I bought the original Giardano casual long sleeve shirts, Bossini's sweat shirt and sweater, and Espirit's shirts with a total expenditure of just 400 HK$ (200rm). Man, this is the only time when i really enjoy shopping.

Of coursse, the grand finale would be Hong Kong's Disneyland. Though it is not as huge as Tokyo's, but it was ok.. i guess. But, as i said before in my previous blog, the magic is still the same. All those Disney magics come to life; a place where you can do anything and you could forget all your worries. The 'Let it Snow' parade was a blast, and i had a fantastic time dancing with the other tourist during the parade. I just forget the things around me, find someone to dance wth, and shake that booty. The 'Circle of Life' was also superb, relieving the time when i grow up with the Lion King, and of course, the fireworks which i didn't have the chance to see when i was in tokyo. Simply in words, it is just beautiful and tears-shedding.

But one thing that could not go unnotice is the friendship which blossomed between the people in our group. My dearest little sister and brother, Alysia and Adam (hopefully we could meet again 'sumwhere far' =)), uncle Azly, Intan and Fafa, Shahmi and Tina and the other wonderful people; these are the people who have been my best friends and family during the 7 day trip. And of course, Look and Samantha from St Andrews IB school who have been a great travelling buddy.

Overall, it was those moments which are worthy to be labelled 'the best times of my life' and i hope that i could visit this lovely place again. Next stop; Beijing? Paris? Egypt?.. Inshallah.

'So close yet so far'

Sitting outside under the heavens with my laptop as my trusty companion, I took awhile to listen to Jon McLaughlin's 'So Close' which was, to me, a completely lovely and beautiful soundtrack of Disney's Enchanted. It might be that i'm Patrick Demsey's 'Dr McDreamy' fan, or it might be the feeling that you have after watching Disney's motion picture, but i for one, must say, that it is the message of the movie itself that brings out the magic there is in every living soul; happy ending does exist and miracles do happen. (To anyone who haven't watch this movie, ull be happy to know that it is worth my 2-thumbs up...make it 3). Frankly speaking, since March this year, i've been experiencing so many things, and i end up pisting myself at the whole world. It came to a point that i've almost become a heartless person who don't give a fuck about people and the world. I cracked, i became selfish, i put the blame on myself till an extent that i feel much more lower than crap. It felt that the whole world was against me and i was all alone. It felt that you don't have tanywhere to go. But as i started doing my IB, getting through the most emotional ramadhan i had in my life, meeting people at every walks of life, and of course being back together with the person i care and love the most, it opened my eyes and made me realize that there might be hope for a 'happy ending' at all. Witnessing real life 'Lion King's Festival of Life' and the trip to Hong Kong's Disneyland, and watching Disney's 'Enchanted', it just made me realize that miracles, true love and happy endings are not just mere fantasies in fairy tales, but they all do exist; an it exist in us. What left to do is just one thing, and that is believing. As we are progressively living in a world where stress is a common sight and suffering has become a norm of life, we tend to forget the very little things in life that mean the most to us, we forget that true love triumph despite any species of odds, we forget all those fairy tales we grow up with which tells us that there will always be a happy ending in everything. Sometimes i wonder, why do parents costantly pushing their children to grow up so soon while there is a fantasy cultivated in them which if abide by it, we could make the world a better place?
I grow up with so many Disney movies; ranging from Lion King, Toy Story, Little Mermaid, Hercules, and so many more, and must i say, it permanently carved in me all the values which mould me into who i am today. The soundtracks is as monumetal as the movie itself, superbly orchestrated which could sip into your deepest and coldest corner of your heart and soften it up like winter in December. I have been to 2 Disneylands; Hong Kong and Tokyo, and to be frank with you, when u stepped into these magical places, it felt as if you are in a whole new world, a world without bloodshed and suffering, a world where fantasy and reality come together. And there will be times in there where you would lose your breathe and the last thing you kow, you'll be crying tears of joy. And once you see all those fireworks dancing among the stars above the magic castle, you'll just know that magic does exist, dreams come true, and there is a happy ending in everything. Take it from me, i fell, i stood up, and i believe in my happy ending. I might not be there yet, but at least in every step i take, ill always know that i have someone who will always be there for me, and there will always be that very magic which accompanies me in my journey. Miracles does happen and i believe!

To my dearest... So far yet so close..655

The legacy of hopes

Sometimes, I doubt the capabilities of human beings withstanding the full thrust of agony and suffering. We seemed so fragile; at any given moment we could crack under the immense pressure of world’s unforgiving nature and eventually break into million pieces. Before this, I felt my world crumbling down on me, with a lot of unexpected things knocking on my door and lot od due dates and datelines to be met. But, this particular place called PERNIM in Cheras Baru has opened my eyes to the reality of life, and how my problems are just bubbles compared to the sea of anguish and torment the children there are swimming in. This place houses abandoned children who their bodies are ravaged by the HIV virus, with no parents to go to, and ever thirsty for love and care. We spent 3 days there, playing with them, put them to sleep, teaching them a few lessons on life, and giving them the love and hope that they deserve and should have. Honestly at first, we felt quite anxious due to the reality that we are handling children who have the virus that there is still no cure for and the only barrier between us and the virus is just our skin. But, when we arrived there, every single negative perception that mingles in our heads receded. We were greeted with joyous laughs and smiles by the children there and judging from their appearances, we just could not apprehend the fact that this sweet, demure, innocent children are HIV positive. We wonder, what did they do to deserve this kind of punishment? Why life seems so unfair? The ‘Mama’ over there just explain briefly the background of the home and the history of the children who live there. If you could spend time with them, you’ll find out that these children are utterly independent and friendly, especially the babies there. They could sleep in your arms even you just have been there for 1 day. After every Maghrib solats, we would have a chat with them, trying to know them much better. A child there said, in his own words that his dad died and his mom would bring ‘new dads’ every night to his home. And there’s another child, she’s blind, her flesh was once ravaged by flesh-eating germs, she has a foot smaller than the another, and the only things she could say are her name, her age, and the Arabic characters. She was found abandoned, with dirt all over her body and left alone. Are we worse than animals? Even animals have more compassion than us if this is how we act. Those 3 days with them have created a strong family-like bond between us and the children and it was just heart-braking to just say goodbye to them. Those small kisses and gentle hugs I got from all of these children will indeed be the one of the most memorable experience in my life. Living in a picture perfect family, the only place where I could find this kind of stories before this visit was just in television dramas. But now, I have seen the dark side of life which I didn’t realize its existence before. One thing which marvels me the most is how these children could move on with their lives, after going through immense pain and hardships and still being able to carve the biggest smile on their faces? They, to me, are living and walking legacies of the human spirit and how believing in hopes and dreams could bring you out of life’s greatest challenges. Some of them want to be doctors, pilots, and soldiers and even though their future appeared dim, but ironically, this is the place where hopes shine the brightest. I have faith, no doubt, that these children have the capabilities and the strength to achieve where no man has achieved before. And in the end of the day, I realized that these children have made me understand that life is not all about receiving, but its more on giving, may it be hope, love, or anything else. And, indeed, even though hopes and dreams seemed irreversibly destroyed, they are actually not. We just need to keep on believing, and have a little more faith.

The certain and uncertain

I chatted with Iman KA last night, and we end up talking about life and the uncertainty of it. (Don’t worry Iman, I wont go into details. Your secret’s safe with me ;)). There are so many things in life that we want to achieve, but the road is never straight, and the path will never be clear. She indicated to me that, generally, in life, we tend to find any signs of hope or certainty that will somehow give a sense of comfort to us all. Even I had this kind of desire too; always wanted something concrete and firm to hold on to, just to tell me that everything will be ok. But life doesn’t work like that. My Mak Long and mama once told me that life is never certain. It’s always a gamble, and we can never predict what will become of us in the future. (Even those ‘bomoh’ or ‘tok pawang’ couldn’t be certain of what they see of the future). I was always desperately wanting for this so called ‘certainty’, but my mom made me realize that certainty is one of the things that life could not offer. It takes me awhile to digest what she said, and eventually, I accepted the idea, though I still need those ‘signs of hope’. Yeah, what my Mak Long and mama told me was totally true; there will always be risk in taking life’s decisions, and the outcome may not turn out to be the way you want to but they told me that if even that’s the case, if you took it because its your passion and love, you will never regret it. There’s no way to escape risk, and it’s one component of life that we need to face in every aspect of life, but make the best of it by evaluating thoroughly and take the least risky one. Always take the calculated risk, just to be prepared for the ‘uncertain’.Like they say, if you can beat them, join them.
With life, comes uncertainty. With uncertainty comes risk, and with risk comes hope. So, in the midst of this ‘uncertainty’, no matter how blur or windy the road is, look inside you and ask yourself ‘what do you really want?’. If that’s your dream, take a while to think about it, stick to your plan and go for it. Everthing you ever desired and wanted is actually in front of you actually, and what you need to do is take the leap of faith. Just have faith, because to me, believing and putting the end in mind, will somehow make the windows of your future more cleaner and clearer. And always remember, no matter how difficult it is, no matter how windy the road is, and no matter how ‘uncertain’ your dreams are, nothing on this world is impossible, and just have faith and work your heart off for it. And Inshallah, ‘uncertain’ will become ‘more certain’ with every step you take. Have faith!

Memories

I dedicate this to my lovely dearest and baby Zach. Happy birthday dear!

To some, memories are just events that took place in our lives that they can just forget about them and put the past as past. To another, memories take vivid pride where they reside the most, the heart. In this world, this ‘memory’ we depend on so much, contains various meanings, due to the cultural boundaries and the influence of the environment. Let me share with you my perspective and how I perceived memories. Memories come in various packages, depending on how meaningful they are to an individual. They can become so powerful, that it would have a profound effect on the human emotions. You might experience where you sit alone, reminiscing the past, and somehow, in a weird way, you laughed your throat out, or you suddenly cried and your eyes get puffy and red. That’s how powerful memories are; they can changed lives. You see, some might say that life-altering events, could, well.. alter lives I guess. But actually, this life-changing events could do so little unless they are kept in our hearts and you let them stayed there. That’s memories. Be it the lost of loved ones, your graduation, your wedding day, and the list goes down, the memories of this events will eventually transform you to another person, maybe for the better or the worst, depending on how you take it. I lost my baby brother once, and to tell you the truth, I was shattered and I have no where else to go. I still remember vividly, where I was waiting for my aunty to pick me up in the rain, and I prayed to the all Mighty that I hope that He would bring my brother back to life. But what is done is done. But with the loving memories of baby Zach, I have succeeded where a few has achieved, and that’s only the beginning and the visible, and trust me, as long as I hold on to his memories, I’ll achieve more, that the mortal mind can imagine.
And based on experience, memories can get even more meaningful when you have others in the picture. There’s nothing more beautiful than falling and rising with the people you care and love. Be it your friends, or your loved ones, or your family, to endure life with them will permanently stay in you forever. I don’t know how to explain this, but every laughs, tears, conflict, comfort that we share together has magic in them, and with them come life’s miracle. Let’s just put it this way; human bonds make memories even beautiful.
So, what I can say here is cherish all the moments that you have and share with others. When there’s a change of tide, they will comfort you in times when you needed comfort the most. Never put aside those memories, but embrace it and enjoy every second of it.

The devil's advocate

This is a cool experiment that I learned when I read the June edition of New Scientist. Try it and you’ll be amaze on the way how our mind functions. It is called the ‘Wason Card Selection Task’.

You are given 4 cards, ‘D’, ‘A’, ‘2’, and ‘5’ written on the front of the card. You are needed to prove this statement by just flipping only 2 cards out of the 4. The statement is:

“If there is a D on one side, there is a 5 on the other”.

So, which card will you flip?

75% of the respondents flipped D and 5. But did the statement said anything about if there is a 5 on one side, there is a D on the other? No. So, why do we need to flip the ‘5’ ? Interesting isn’t it.

To confirm this theory, the solution is actually to disprove it, so you just need to flip D and 2. The reason:
For D, if the reverse isn’t 5, the statement is false.
For 2, if the reverse isn’t D on the other side, so the statement is false

Wason concluded that in an argument, we mostly tend to use facts and numbers which only support ours and we very seldomly try to find things which weakens our arguments. This explains why when we are needed to evaluate alternatives, we end up bias towards one and we ignore the others. This is christened ‘The Ubiquitous Confirmation Bias’. This can closely associated to our way of thinking where we always consider the strength but never the weakness. Sometimes, most of the times, the best way to evaluate an issue or ourselves is trying to identify the weaknesses and improve it to the better. So, when it comes to making decisions or justifying an argument, try to ‘bang’ yourself first. Do you get what I mean? =)

The fish we eat.

A typical fisherman village A fishing boat
Papa and mama : My inspiration and strength
Leaving Kuantan for the vast open sea An exhausted fisherman getting a short afternoon nap

Have you ever wonder, during dinner or lunch, how the fish ends up in your plate? Have you ever imagine how much sweat and energy poured into providing you the very fish you eat for lunch or dinner? This is my experience with my family on a fishing trip in the middle of the South China Sea, and to tell you the truth, it is one that could never be forgotten. We start off at 8 am in the morning from the Tanjung Api Jetty and the sight of the fishermen village greeted us in a very solemn way. Its quite saddening to see an old shack which houses a family of average of 7. We chanted that we are on the verge of becoming a developed country, but yet, there are still of our fellow friends which live in this kind of condition.
On the boat, my mom’s friend and another fisherman was expecting us. Then we set course into the middle of the South China Sea, with high hopes of getting a bucket of deep sea fish. The method that we use to catch fish there is using an Appolo fishing rod; a fishing rod which has a 5 to seven hooks on the line and every one of them is attached with shiny, metallic fibers to bait the fishes. We once tried this in Langkawi, so the Appolo is no stranger to us. No doubt, fishing is a test of patience. Imagine; in the middle of the sea, and the sun is burning your skin and you can felt the sweat flowing on your back. It was just nerve-racking, And to make it more miserable, we only got so little fish except for my mother; she’s an iron woman of the sea. But when we sensed something pulling on the line, and you quickly pull it up, and you see a Selar at the end of the line, you feel a surge of excitement all over the body. Yeah, it’s a small accomplishment, but looking at the atmosphere and the condition, you can imagine how a fish at the end of the line could make you so happy? I ask the man, how much fish on average will he catch daily? Sadly, he told me that with this method, they even could not get the white polystyrene container half full. With that much of a catch, they can only get around RM 10 to 15 a day and with that amount of money, they will use it to feed their 7 children.
And one more experience that I must share is praying on the boat. The boat is never stable; the boat will be constantly rocking like a cradle every time the wave slams the boat. So, they will sit during their prayers. It’s a cool thing to pray in a new way =) Hey, is not like we always get the chance praying in the middle of the sea, right?
At 5 pm, we head back to dry land, and everyone was very exhausted. But, our fatigue faded away by the sight of 3 dolphins swimming beside our boat. Their upper part of their bodies appear and reappear on the surface of the water, and we were like a bunch of monkeys on a boat, being so excited watching these very gentle creatures.
We reached the jetty at precisely 6.10 pm and everyone was damn tired. But we learned a lot of valuable lessons. I still remember vividly, the faces of the children there, with their worn out power ranger and pokemen t-shirts, looking at us we a very sweet smile. As you read this, just remember that we are so lucky of being who we are now; being able to surf the internet, wear descent clothes, and having a warm and comfortable home to live on. Don’ t forget to remember our brother’s and sister’s who aren’t fortunate enough to have a life like ours. So, when you are about to have a bite of the delicious deep fried sweet sour fish, just take a minute to thank the very men and women who went through all the hardships, in the middle of the ocean, to get that fish we about to eat..

From Transnational to the heavens

Writing to you from a Transnational bus heading to KL in the middle of the Monday night. Listening to Anna Nallick’s 2 AM, I looked outside the window, admiring the constellations in the heavens. As I look at the very stars that dreamers, philosophers, lovers, poets, and achievers once admire, the thought of my dreams struck my mind. You see, the very dreams that I hold on to are thought to be impossible by typical others. But to me, nothing is impossible on this earth and I believe that everything is achievable if you put your heart, mind and soul into it. On the 16th of June, I will embark on a very hard and difficult journey which I estimate will take me around 8 to 9 years of my life to accomplish. In those period of time, I will submit myself to medicine, and I will put all my life to a relationship which I pledged myself to you.
After what happened for the last few months, I started questioning my attention of becoming a doctor. It crossed my mind that if I had not taken this choice of mine and I resorted to become an engineer or accountant, I might be richer and I could be with the people I love. And there were times when people sarcastically gave me the idea that becoming a doctor is not worth the effort and all the sleepless nights for on-calls when eventually I would get a salary far less than those who sit in the office drinking coffee. But when I talked to my junior of mine, she makes all the different. About the relationship, she made me realize that just put all your effort and keep on loving. People might say that I need to be realistic, but as I said before, in love and relationship, it surpasses the boundaries of time and logic. And I have faith and I believe that one day I’ll be with her. And no matter how hard it is, I will keep on loving her. And on my doubts of becoming a doctor, I realize that there is more than salary when we talk about life in the emergency room. It is actually about changing people’s lives, giving hope to the hopeless, giving some sense of security to people who are in need one. Yeah, I might not be rich, but I know that my choice of profession will bring enjoyment to others. For all the future doctors out there, persevere and what you will be doing will be look high upon Allah and the people around.
And again, I just want to help others, and I’m glad that the one I love has gotten what she wants, and to me, it means the whole world to me. So rather on lamenting on what will happen in the future, I should go on helping others and touching lives. And when I take another look in the heavens, I know that body will turn to dust, but because of selflessness and the heart which is pure, Allah will put us there, among the stars.

Purpose

I believe that we are sent onto this earth for a purpose. From the very janitors who clean up the mess we make to the very people who governed a nation, we will always serve a purpose to others. After 18 years of living, surviving, and breathing, I have reached to a point that I realized the reason why Allah sent me here; to submit to Him, to learn and to care and help others. After my SPM, I’ve been traveling a lot, seeing what the world is really about and what lies for me in the future. There were times when I encounter people who suffer so much (and I thought my life was miserable) and who are in need of a little care and love. I met elderly people who crave for the love of the young, people who are holding on to little hope when they know there are no hope left, people who do hard labor just to feed and school their 8 children, and fishermen who spent the whole day under the excruciating heat of the sun in the middle of the sea just to come back to their families with RM10 a day. Life is not as it seems and the media has somehow blinded us from the suffering of the very people who are in need of help. When I associated my life’s dream of becoming a doctor, I realize that this is not just a dream. It has become my obligation, my calling to change their lives. It may sound big, very big, but I know this is it; becoming a doctor, a specialist, and to care for this people. I know there’s little I can do for them for now, but I know that my existence will never be complete if their fate is not defended. I pledge, in the confinement of my ability and capabilities, that I will help those people. This is also a calling to all of the people out there, do your part in helping this people. Life is not about making big bucks and having a BMW 5 Series with big mansions. It is about enjoying it and share those enjoyment with these unlucky people and what better way of doing it than carving a smile on their faces.